Monday, May 12, 2008

Monday

Almost 8 oclock and there are still many things I feel I need to do before bed - but, instead, I am just going to take Lilababy out for a "granny toodle" around the yard, and then have a quick shower, make some herbal tea and curl up with her on the couch.

Today followed the typical pattern; she was down in the morning, perked a bit when I got ready to take Dan for his walk, ate only a little, then crashed all afternoon; about 5 pm she rallies and starts agitating for food but doesn't seem to want anything. I wonder if I should ask Eddie about something for possible nausea. She's just being weird; wants eggs one day and not the next; wants liver last night and lots of it - today, meh to liver.So I managed to get the perennial favourite MILK into her and then some chicken stock from the lovely, thyme scented bird Auntie Donna left (I made soup today) and THEN - aha, CATFOOD. She wolfed the canned catfood which is a bit horrifying to me but at the same time I was so relieved to see her eat like that. If it has to be catfood well hot damn thats what we'll have. I plan to get some other indulgences for her as soon as I can - rabbit being the top of the list.

I usually sit in the backyard and watch the foxes and the cats at twilight, and today I divided some peace lilies while she and Dan hung out a bit. But I have to remember she can only take a little wee bit of stuff at a time. So we'll have just a wee toodle now and then a massage and sleep. Alex will be here to spell me off a little bit so that's great too.

One more day, and sleep is a blessing.
Thanks to the Creator for this precious time. I will try to get back to work tomorrow, I've been far too distraught, but I need to function now the worst of the shock is over.
Mommy loves Lila - so much love Lila.

4 comments:

Marian said...

Cat,

Lila is stunning. And whatever it is you have to do can wait. These days are too precious for anything other than Lila. I wish I could say or do something to ease what you are going through but I can't. The best I can do is keep you and Lila in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,

Marian

Cat said...

Thank you marian - she is beautiful, isn't she...this ast few days have been very rough. I think the little improvement was really temporary. She's been down since yesterday and I'm losing any shred of optimism I had. This is so very, very sad and the idea of making the call is terrible.

But if she is going to be miserable I will just have to find the strength.
Will keep you posted...and thank you for the prayers, it means a lot.
Cat

Ellyn said...

Keepers of our Springs:

High up in the hills, a strange and quiet forest dweller decided to be the Keeper of the Springs. Whereever a spring was found, all foreign matter, silt, leaves, mud and mould, was cleared away, so that the water which bubbled up through the sand ran down clean and cold and pure.
Do not think me too fanciful when I say that I think of our heart-dogs as keepers of our springs, if we will but let them. Nothing that has been said, or that ever will be said, would be eloquent, expressive or adequate enough to make articulate that peculiar emotion we feel for our belovéd furkids and companions, always faithful to their tasks as our keepers.
Likewise, a tribute to Cat, who is showing us a way to return the favor bestowed upon us by our keepers.
As always,
ellyn

Cat said...

That was beautiful Ellyn - isn't it true, how dogs keep our hearts pure and show us what we are capable of. I owe lila so very much. But all she's ever wanted was that I be ok - happy - oh, and a run in the woods at least once a day of not more.
Thank you for your prayers, poems, and love, I lack the eloquence to say what our friendship means, in good times and rough...

love, C and the zoo