Tonight is so strange. Wayne and Donna brought her ashes up, and I am tired, but strong. It was a long day, Danny more stressed than me, culminating in an emotional evening with her lovely little blue urn being placed on her table, with the white lilacs, white beeswax candles, crystal lotus, teddy bears, and so on.
I'm tired but strangely at peace. I feel her very close by lately. Some magical moments this morning in the woods, and much to remain grateful for. Alex brought Thai food, we had a lovely, memorable night - discussion turning to angelology, and the night not long enough to hold the ideas and flood of spirit, so needed, so dear. Danny and I sat outside and listened to the forest, long after people had left and the pressure was on to go watch a movie. The air is so alive with magic, I can hear the pitter patter of memory in the singing of the peepers, the night I found my little girl they were in full voice, and it seems both yesterday, and a million years ago.
Played Sibelius, at the suggestion of a friend; played Yo Yo Ma and Glenn Gould, the Tallis Scholars, felt my spirit enlarged by friends, food, love and gratitude.
Mommy loves Lila, so much, love Lila.
Mommy loves Daniel, Mommy loves Luke.
Thank you God for all that I have, and have had, and will again.
Amor Vincit Omnia
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