The concept of Lila signifies Freedom

Lila (Sanskrit: लीला), or Leela is a concept within Hinduism literally meaning "pastime", "sport" or "play". It is common to both monistic and dualistic philosophical schools, but has a markedly different significance in each. Within monism, Lila is a way of describing all reality, including the cosmos, as the outcome of creative play by the divine absolute (Brahman). In the dualistic schools of Vaishnavism, Lila more simply refers to the activities of God and his devotees, as distinct from the common activities of karma.

It was a long time ago the name came to me, and I always pronounced it L- EYE-la. In Sanskrit it is Leela. but you always meant sacred play, to me, you little minx. Even when I found that L-EYE-la meant "dark as night" in Hebrew, and that you were too.

Your role in my life was definitely the "activities of God" however one understands that concept.


You loved me in all my aspects; me the religionist, the academic, as well as the Irishwoman, overemotional, a little crazy, and you loved the silly me, the serious me, the girly me - any me that smelled like me, and you never let me down. Worth 2000 of most humans I know who drop others like a hot potato once it becomes inconvenient! You understood respect as well as love, humour as well as sensitivity, and you never questioned me directly, although a few choice looks would tell me you were not fully appreciating whatever I was doing at the moment.

I miss you so much, Bo. I know you are getting back here as quickly as you can. I heard you last night...what a lambie dog you are.
I have saved all your lambs so you can play with hem again, when you get here. Dan almost got your goat the other day, but it was like he knew he shouldnt destroy it, so he just carried it around a while.


SO much love Lila!!

Ram Shanker Misra in "The Integral Advaitism of Sri Aurobindo" -

"Brahman is full of all perfections. And to say that Brahman has some purpose in creating the world will mean that it wants to attain through the process of creation something which it has not. And that is impossible. Hence, there can be no purpose of Brahman in creating the world. The world is a mere spontaneous creation of Brahman. It is a Lila, or sport, of Brahman. It is created out of Bliss, by Bliss and for Bliss. Lila indicates a spontaneous sportive activity of Brahman as distinguished from a self-conscious volitional effort. The concept of Lila signifies freedom as distinguished from necessity."

I miss school. I miss the Religion department. I miss feeling centered. But more than anything I can think of, I miss you.

What a lambie-dog you are.
Th concept of Lila signifies freedom.


Find me soon, please. Dan and I are like two old chickens here. We need the rainbow! We need the balance.
We need the freedom.

Mom

Just thinking how sweet you were

Hi Bo....
I was just talking to Luke, and taking a little break here (still crunching numbers all day) and I looked at a few of my favourite pics. You were so sweet! Did I not tell you a 1000 times a day? And were you not tolerant, wise, funny and GOOD? You were indeed, my eleganza. So before I head back to work,more coffee and a quick roll- around in the yard with that little demon...I just wanted to share a few more Bo-treasures with the world.

Danny is well; we lost Ogden, and my heart aches, but it cannot break, because it's been so thoroughly shattered it grew back made of rubber, and it will only ache now; the first cuts are indeed the deepest, or as Dylan Thomas said "after the first death, there is no other".
I miss you, Bonobo. You, Dad, Luke and John - I am so glad to have the demon or what would I do?
Take heart knowing for all he annoyed you, he's helping me be ok.


Look at you!

Miracles do happen and you were one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgZN2br6lgw&feature=related

Worse as time goes by

It does seem that the longer I have to be in this world without Bo, the harder it gets.

Things come to mind all the time, things that just filter through the brainwaves then settle and drift away.

Imagine if I'd never found her, and how easily I could have just capitulated that May even to going home, when I said to Alex, let's drive a bit more. He never wants to do one minute of a thing more than he absolutely has to; he wanted to call it a night. Yet I insisted - that can be the prerogative of the sick (and I was very, VERY sick). So we drove on, and by the grace of the gods, there she was. Whatever would my life have been without that infusion of grace, that showed me how good a person I can be (and we all can be?)


On her shrine, I keep a stack of her pictures, from babyhood to her last few days, and every morning I switch over so there's always a new one there. Sometimes it's the innocent face of my baby Bo - back when her main nickname was Chickpea - and sometimes, it's the white faced old love I had to say goodbye to so recently. Always it's the depth, humour, wisdom, sweetness. I know she is not the only dog in the world with these characteristics, but she was the only one in my world, who loved ME and lived with and depended upon me. I miss her more as time goes by.

But then - had her, didn't I. All that time. All those years. Only me. I can focus on her absence, large as the sky, or her presence here, and what she gave me. Would that all of us had such a gift.
Ah, but i miss you, sweetface, and it's not abated in any way as yet.

Not getting better

I think perhaps because my Dad died right after lila, my grief process was delayed and I stayed in this weird state of shock for some time.
The past few days I've been very sad and close to depression. I miss her so much. Thirteen years is a long time and we went through so much together. My life feels so strange without her...my heart just wrenches when I pcuture her little smile. She was the very essence of sweetness, cleverness, loveliness. I keep hearing about puppies but I'm so worried they'll be "cute, lovable, but not Bo". I think as long as I feel that way, it's too soon.
Dan is better, but down at times too.

Other life struggles just continue unabated. Had a great talk with a friend last night about why so much grief and suffering has been visited upon me this past few years; it's not the God she understands to have good people suffer so much. But for me, it's more about karma, so I try to shoulder it as best I can, and repair it. Whatever the karma came from - probably parents, or past life, because I think I'm a pretty good human in this go-round - I know it's my task to repair it. So I strive to be ever-better. At the end of this life all we have is our soul, and I hope mine will be intact.

And it's strange too, because while I've lost the things I worked SO DAMN HARD for, I mean they were just WHOOSH! gone, and not my own doing - I am also strangely at peace. I have learned to live so much more in the moment, to love with all my being, to cherish the sound of the wind and the sighs of the dawn. The material things can come back, the energy and hopefulness can return. But what I've gained, even through the "grace" of suffering, is immeasurable. So, while I can't say I exactly embrace the disasters that have befallen me, I cans till derive meaning and strength from them.

I love my work and my animals, and the forest, and my spiritual path, and I have not hate in my heart, though I see it all around me.



I just miss my sweetheart so much.

Carrying the Pain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1oiiE7CyZ0

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love/
and to be once again with you.

I miss you, Bo.

Finally

So finally, last night, in the wee hours before dawn, you decided you were ready to come to me.
Tonight I cannot wait to sleep, in the desparate hope you will be here again.
It was only a moment, but there you were. I could feel your fur, the deep ruff around your neck, I was back with you, and it was as real as the day.

When I awoke, Danny was staring straight at me with that concerned little Ridgeback face, and I knew I'd been making sounds in my sleep.
I could barely drag myself awake, I was so far gone when we had met, out on the astral, and how comforting those fleeting moments were.

Sometimes, the pain unravels me.
Sometimes I am filled with peace and love that you were ever here.
Always, always, I miss you, and what I wouldn't give for one hour more.
Mommy loves Lila, so much love Lila.

Despite all that has happened in the past few weeks, I make space to mourn for your passing, and time to be with you still.