I just wanted to tell you how well I did this first Christmas.
I took in Tina, as you know - and I worked through a ton of stuff you always hoped I would - balancing celebration and sorrow, past and future - I missed you the whole way! And now we are sitting here moving into 09 with so much hope and optimism - you're here every step.
Oh if only other humans could find the happiness with one another I feel even in your memory.
What a lambie-dog you are...Mommy loves Lila. SO much love Lila.
See you soon Angel Heart. we missed you - and, I kept my promise...:) I am not just good, I am SOOO good.
love you, angel!
Hug the Beef for me....Mom
Friday, January 9, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
When the wind takes you
You look at me with uncertainty,
You look at me with urgency.
You look at me with fear in your eyes
Like you're about to fall away.
But don't be afraid to change your colours now.
I've known you all Summer, and you rose above it all.
I see you hesitate to fall now,
But it's a pretty good view from down here, too.
And when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think, and I will try to.
When you let go, I will let go, too.
I knew you when you were green and strong.
You were like a feather on a wing, so long.
You know I will miss you when you are gone,
But don't be afraid if you just can't hang on.
'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too.
The cold air is pushing hard on you.
I know what you're saying; I can feel it, too.
You'll go through changes, and I'll go through them too.
Don't be afraid now, don't be afraid.
'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too
You look at me with urgency.
You look at me with fear in your eyes
Like you're about to fall away.
But don't be afraid to change your colours now.
I've known you all Summer, and you rose above it all.
I see you hesitate to fall now,
But it's a pretty good view from down here, too.
And when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think, and I will try to.
When you let go, I will let go, too.
I knew you when you were green and strong.
You were like a feather on a wing, so long.
You know I will miss you when you are gone,
But don't be afraid if you just can't hang on.
'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too.
The cold air is pushing hard on you.
I know what you're saying; I can feel it, too.
You'll go through changes, and I'll go through them too.
Don't be afraid now, don't be afraid.
'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Selah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSUA_E0Ce4A&feature=related
My first autumn without you, and this was so much our special time. Today was so beautiful, one of those heartwrenching Gatineau Hills fall days where the intensity of the light is almost unbearable.. the Merlin soared around us, various huge ravens that are always nearby...the air so cold and crisp and life feeling just..perfect, as it is. except for the missing shape, the one laways beside me as far back as I can recall..and the one most present now is yours.Dan, Tina and I walked through the back, she was wearing Luke's harness. I felt you all around and through me, everything you taught me, all the strengths you brought out in me, all the transformations my loving you so much entailed. And I looked at Tina rolling on her back in the grass, wagging her tail with bemused delight to be free and alive and in this holy place, and I know I am only able to do things like rescue now because YOU showed me how much love I really have inside. She would be dead without you, without the love you gave me that I now can pass on. She was never adored and cared for like you were, her bad condition shows that, and then to just leave her alone in that shelter...aren't you happy somwehere, smiling your dear little wise smile, knowing we did this, you and me, we took her home, we give her some of the joy we shared when you were here.
Oh, but I miss you, my litlest angel..and the fall is a terrible time to be engulfed in sadness. We do carry on endeavoring to be happy. Christmas is yet to be faced.
Mommy loves lila - always love Lila, so much love my Bo.
Just to let you know we are ok, we are strong,and we know you are here.
My first autumn without you, and this was so much our special time. Today was so beautiful, one of those heartwrenching Gatineau Hills fall days where the intensity of the light is almost unbearable.. the Merlin soared around us, various huge ravens that are always nearby...the air so cold and crisp and life feeling just..perfect, as it is. except for the missing shape, the one laways beside me as far back as I can recall..and the one most present now is yours.Dan, Tina and I walked through the back, she was wearing Luke's harness. I felt you all around and through me, everything you taught me, all the strengths you brought out in me, all the transformations my loving you so much entailed. And I looked at Tina rolling on her back in the grass, wagging her tail with bemused delight to be free and alive and in this holy place, and I know I am only able to do things like rescue now because YOU showed me how much love I really have inside. She would be dead without you, without the love you gave me that I now can pass on. She was never adored and cared for like you were, her bad condition shows that, and then to just leave her alone in that shelter...aren't you happy somwehere, smiling your dear little wise smile, knowing we did this, you and me, we took her home, we give her some of the joy we shared when you were here.
Oh, but I miss you, my litlest angel..and the fall is a terrible time to be engulfed in sadness. We do carry on endeavoring to be happy. Christmas is yet to be faced.
Mommy loves lila - always love Lila, so much love my Bo.
Just to let you know we are ok, we are strong,and we know you are here.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
If I Could Be Where You Are
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4uI-jrIxog&feature=related
Where are you this moment?
Only in my dreams.
You're missing, but you're always
A heartbeat from me.
I'm lost now without you,
I don't know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,
But time keeps us apart
[chorus]
Is there a way I can find you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a road I could follow,
To bring you back home?
Winter lies before me
Now you're so far away
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay
If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home
Is there a way I can find you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a road I could follow,
To bring you back home to me
Where are you this moment?
Only in my dreams.
You're missing, but you're always
A heartbeat from me.
I'm lost now without you,
I don't know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,
But time keeps us apart
[chorus]
Is there a way I can find you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a road I could follow,
To bring you back home?
Winter lies before me
Now you're so far away
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay
If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home
Is there a way I can find you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a road I could follow,
To bring you back home to me
Monday, September 8, 2008
xoxo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z97_bH_dwc4
How I needed you
How I grieve now you're gone
In my dreams I see you
I awake so alone
I know you didn't want to leave
Your heart yearned to stay
But the strength I always loved in you
Finally gave way
Somehow I knew you would leave me this way
Somehow I knew you could never, never stay
And in the early morning light
After a silent peaceful night
You took my heart away
And my being
In my dreams I can see you
I can tell you how I feel
In my dreams I can hold you
And it feels so real
I still feel the pain
I still feel your love
I still feel the pain
I still feel your love
And somehow I knew you could never, never stay
And somehow I knew you would leave me
And in the early morning light
After a silent peaceful night
You took my heart away
Oh I wish, I wish you could have stayed
How I needed you
How I grieve now you're gone
In my dreams I see you
I awake so alone
I know you didn't want to leave
Your heart yearned to stay
But the strength I always loved in you
Finally gave way
Somehow I knew you would leave me this way
Somehow I knew you could never, never stay
And in the early morning light
After a silent peaceful night
You took my heart away
And my being
In my dreams I can see you
I can tell you how I feel
In my dreams I can hold you
And it feels so real
I still feel the pain
I still feel your love
I still feel the pain
I still feel your love
And somehow I knew you could never, never stay
And somehow I knew you would leave me
And in the early morning light
After a silent peaceful night
You took my heart away
Oh I wish, I wish you could have stayed
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