Selah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSUA_E0Ce4A&feature=related

My first autumn without you, and this was so much our special time. Today was so beautiful, one of those heartwrenching Gatineau Hills fall days where the intensity of the light is almost unbearable.. the Merlin soared around us, various huge ravens that are always nearby...the air so cold and crisp and life feeling just..perfect, as it is. except for the missing shape, the one laways beside me as far back as I can recall..and the one most present now is yours.Dan, Tina and I walked through the back, she was wearing Luke's harness. I felt you all around and through me, everything you taught me, all the strengths you brought out in me, all the transformations my loving you so much entailed. And I looked at Tina rolling on her back in the grass, wagging her tail with bemused delight to be free and alive and in this holy place, and I know I am only able to do things like rescue now because YOU showed me how much love I really have inside. She would be dead without you, without the love you gave me that I now can pass on. She was never adored and cared for like you were, her bad condition shows that, and then to just leave her alone in that shelter...aren't you happy somwehere, smiling your dear little wise smile, knowing we did this, you and me, we took her home, we give her some of the joy we shared when you were here.

Oh, but I miss you, my litlest angel..and the fall is a terrible time to be engulfed in sadness. We do carry on endeavoring to be happy. Christmas is yet to be faced.
Mommy loves lila - always love Lila, so much love my Bo.

Just to let you know we are ok, we are strong,and we know you are here.